Let’s start this blog post by stating that breathwork is a deeply researched strategy that, when done correctly, is helpful in managing stress and anxiety. However, as a pediatric occupational therapist with 15 years of experience (and a mom!) I am going to state the obvious; not every child experiences breathing exercises as calming.
For some children, focusing on the breath can feel soothing and organizing. For others, paying attention to their breathing may feel uncomfortable, distracting, or even anxiety-provoking.
This is especially important for children with sensory processing differences.
A child may be highly sensitive to internal body sensations, uncomfortable with certain sounds or smells, resistant to touch, or overwhelmed by instructions that require stillness and sustained attention.
The goal is not to make every child do the same breathing exercise. The goal is to find a way of practicing regulation that feels safe, accessible, and meaningful to that particular child.
Start with the child’s sensory preferences
Before introducing a breathing exercise, consider what your child already tells you through their behavior.
Ask yourself:
- Does my child enjoy quiet or prefer background noise?
- Do they seek movement or avoid it?
- Are they comfortable closing their eyes?
- Do they dislike having attention drawn to internal body sensations?
- Are smells particularly distracting or overwhelming?
- Do they enjoy blowing, sucking, or oral-motor activities?
- Do they prefer visual demonstrations rather than verbal instructions?
- Does sitting still make regulation harder rather than easier?
These observations can help you choose the right starting point.
If focusing on breathing makes your child anxious
Some children become more aware of sensations such as their heartbeat, chest movement, or air moving through their nose when an adult tells them to “notice your breath.”
For a child who is already anxious about bodily sensations, this increased attention can sometimes make the experience feel worse.
Try this instead:
Shift attention away from the breath itself.
Instead of saying:
Try:
Or:
The child is still practicing controlled breathing, but they do not have to monitor their internal sensations.
If your child dislikes closing their eyes
Never require a child to close their eyes during breathwork. Closing the eyes works great for some children who are visually distracted or visually overwhelmed, but it can make other children feel vulnerable, disoriented, or less connected to their surroundings.
Try this instead:
Invite your child to keep their eyes open and focus on:
- A pinwheel
- Bubbles
- A feather moving with their breath
- A stuffed animal rising and falling
- Your face as you model the breathing
- A leaf blowing in the wind
- Watching the current of a body of water move
They can watch, imitate, and participate without having to remove visual input.
If your child seeks movement
For some children, sitting completely still is not regulating.
In fact, asking a movement-seeking child to “sit quietly and breathe” may increase frustration.
Add movement to the breath.
Reach up + inhale → slowly lower arms + exhale
or
Rock forward + inhale → rock backward + exhale
You can also pair breathing with:
- Walking
- Gentle rocking
- Stretching
- Yoga poses
- Pushing against a wall
- Slow rhythmic movements
- Swinging, when appropriate and supervised
For these children, breathwork does not need to look like meditation.
If your child is sensitive to sound
Some breathing exercises include sounds that may be uncomfortable for children with auditory sensitivities.
A child may dislike:
- Loud exhalations
- Humming
- Counting aloud
- “Ocean” breathing sounds
- Other people breathing close to them
Modify the sensory input.
Use quiet, natural breathing instead.
“Can you make the softest bubble breath?”
If your child prefers headphones or a quieter environment, that is okay too. The objective is regulation, not producing a particular sound.
If your child is sensitive to smells
“Smell the flower” is a wonderful metaphor, but you do not actually need a scented flower, essential oil, candle, or other fragrance to teach it.
For children who are sensitive to smells, keep the activity scent-free.
You can simply use the visual:
The imagery provides the playful structure without introducing an additional sensory stimulus.
I would also avoid using essential oils as a necessary component of children’s breathwork. A child should never have to tolerate a scent in order to participate.
If oral-motor input is highly motivating
Some children naturally enjoy activities involving their mouths and breath.
These children may respond especially well to playful exhale activities such as:
- Blowing bubbles
- Blowing a pinwheel
- Blowing feathers
- Blowing cotton balls across a table
- Blowing through a straw to move water
- Playing simple wind instruments
These activities can make controlled exhalation feel purposeful rather than abstract.
If your child dislikes breath holding
There is no requirement to include breath holding.
Some children find it uncomfortable, and some children become more aware of bodily sensations when asked to hold their breath.
If box breathing includes a pause that your child dislikes, modify it.
Inhale → slow exhale
or
Inhale → longer, comfortable exhale
For many children, especially beginners, a simple and comfortable breathing pattern is more accessible than a technically precise one.
If your child has difficulty following multi-step directions
A four-part breathing exercise can be too much for some children, particularly when they are already dysregulated.
“Breathe in for four, hold for four, breathe out for four, hold for four.”
Start with one simple instruction:
“Smell.”
Then:
“Blow.”
Or simply:
“Watch me.”
Model the breath yourself and let your child imitate you.
Visual cues can also help:
A child does not need to verbalize or count to benefit from practicing a slower breathing pattern.
Let the sensory system lead
One of the most important principles is to follow the child’s response rather than forcing the strategy because it worked for someone else.
If a child becomes more agitated, frustrated, silly, distressed, or avoidant during a breathing exercise, that is information.
It does not mean the child is “refusing to regulate.”
It may mean:
Try changing one variable at a time:
- Add movement.
- Reduce verbal instructions.
- Keep eyes open.
- Move attention outside the body.
- Remove scents.
- Reduce sound.
- Shorten the exercise.
- Use a playful activity.
- Practice alongside the child rather than directing them.
And sometimes the best modification is simply:
Regulation strategies should not become another demand placed on an already overwhelmed child.
A sensory-friendly breathing hierarchy
If your child is new to breathwork, think about progressing from indirect → direct rather than immediately asking them to focus on their internal breathing.
Level 1: External play
Start with:
Bubbles → pinwheel → feathers → cotton balls
The child focuses on what their breath can do.
Level 2: Co-regulation
Next, breathe together.
“Watch me.”
The child can participate without being responsible for following a precise pattern.
Level 3: Visual breathing
Add something they can watch:
Stuffed animal → hands moving → pinwheel → visual cue
Level 4: Body awareness
When appropriate, invite gentle awareness:
“What do you notice in your body?”
There is no need to demand an answer.
Level 5: Independent strategy use
Eventually, the child may begin choosing a strategy independently:
“I need bubbles.”
“Can we do the flower breath?”
“I need a minute.”
That is the long-term goal.
Not perfect breathing.
Self-awareness and self-advocacy.
The bottom line
Sensory-informed breathwork is not about finding the perfect exercise.
It is about asking:
What does this child need in order to feel safe enough to participate?
For one child, that might mean sitting quietly with a stuffed animal on their belly.
For another, it might mean blowing bubbles while standing.
For another, it might mean walking beside a parent and taking slow breaths.
And for another, breathwork may not be the right regulation strategy at that particular moment.
That is okay.
Accessibility is more important than compliance.
When we adapt the environment, the language, the sensory input, and the activity to match the child, we give them a much better chance of experiencing breathwork as a useful tool rather than another thing they are being asked to do.
The ultimate goal is not: “My child can perform a breathing exercise correctly.”
It is:
“My child has discovered something that helps their body feel a little safer, more organized, and more in control.”
